NEW PRESIDENT TAKES OATH

But this reporter strays from the important business accomplished at the 1998 Annual Meeting of the USJCI Senate. A new President was elected - Mary Sawyer #43960 from Missouri - and awards for exceptional performance were presented to deserving members o f the organization. The blackjack tables were never lacking for donations from the assembled crowds, and somehow our Reserve Fund doubled in size in just 3 days! Kudos to outgoing Treasurer - and new Admin VP -Tom Stone #36021 for such an excellent 2 year s managing the pursestrings of the USJCI Senate. Other news revolved around the new bylaw changes instituted by the US Jaycees. They will now be operating on a calendar year budget, January to December. The Annual meeting will still be held in June with e lections, however all national Jaycee officers will have a 6 month training period before officially taking over the following January. A Blue Ribbon Committee was appointed by President Mary to review what, if any effect that change will have on the USJC I Senate. Their first report will be issued in September at the FallBoard meeting in Dayton, OH.

In spite of the rigors of constant press releases to file and interviews to conduct, this reporter did find time to cruise the strip - legally of course! Top honors for entertainment value goes to the Star Trek Experience museum and show! Nothing beats r iding in a shuttlecraft with friendly Texas Senators yelling "I don’t think we in Kansas anymore, Dorothy!", and "I wonder if the Cowboys new coach has thought about drafting that boy Worf yet?". The Luxor, New York, New York, Caesar’s Palace, Harrah’s... I mean really folks just how much is too much of that neon, and glitter, and slot machine sound, and pretty women on all the dance stages. I look forward to hospitality rooms that have food, meeting rooms that are not 2 or 3 elevator rides away, and temperatures under 100 degrees in the shade. ON TO NIAGRA FALLS 1999!

RAVE REVIEWS ON NEW INFO SOURCE

We be up and running in cyberspace thanks to the hours of Saturday effort put in by Gary Moore #27389. A beautiful New Mexico background yellow screen highlights the array of information choices available. History, Officers, Roster, News, Photos, Links, P ins.

As mentioned in the June issue, Gary encourages everyone to cruise the site and offer him some feedback. What would be even better, dig around the attic and garage and send him some old photos or articles from the past. Especially needed are Past JCI Pres idents info on officers who served during their year. The more the better.

To: All NMJCI fans and foes of the World Famous Dallas Cowboys
From: The "Pope"

Greetings to one and all from North Texas, a.k.a. Beelzebub's Backyard.

Folks sure are nice around here these days in spite of the miserable hot and dry weather. I reason it's because the Devil has gone back to Hell to escape the heat, and he took all the mean spirits with him.

But I digress from the real purpose of this epistle to the brethren (and sistren?).

Our esteemed leader and all powerful wizard has persuaded me to serve as your Dallas Cowboys reporter, and he has given me specific instructions to provide you with the type of reporting that you won’t see on ESPN or in the pages of Sports Illustful.

The only way I could get close enough to actual Dallas Cowboy’s players was to tape a zip-lock baggie of cornstarch to my Stetson and head for Wichita Falls and training camp '98.

Upon arrival at training camp I was amazed to see how many die-hard fans were actually dying hard by baking their brains in the 109-degree heat.

A cute blonde in pink hot pants told me she had been trying to talk to Troy for a week, but she couldn't get any of the players to stop and talk to her. She said, “You'll never get close enough to even holler at them".

Undaunted, I stepped under the shade of my baggie equipped hat and ventured to the North end of the practice field where I held up a sign that said "Let's chat!" with an arrow pointing to the baggie.

In no time at all I had a number of players and coaches lined up to talk to me. Here's what I found out:

- The Cowboys have 8 new assistant coaches, and two of the newest are Jim Jeffcoat and Bill Bates. Both were long time quality players for the Boys and are well respected by all.

- Emmitt told me privately that he has every intention of being a force to reckon with this year. He says that he could have played much better last year even though he was nursing some nagging injuries, but Barry would not let him play hurt.

He reminded me how well he played hurt against the Giants a few years ago, and though I had to admit I thought it was a very courageous thing at the time, I had to remind him that he is now a few years older and, after all, that was against the Giants. H ey, I've got more stories for y'all, but I'm out of time. Don't forget our first preseason game this Friday vs. Seattle in Texas Stadium.

GO COWBOYS!!

NOTE - the Pope’s comments in NO way reflect the opinions or vested interested of the editor of this newsletter. They are being printed as a service to the membership at the request of our newly appointed Ambassador to Texas.

The Big Mac has hit the rode again in search of the finer establishments offering respite from the news headlines and constant barrage of Monica-gate info. Travelling from Wisconsin, to Nevada, Arizona, Montana, Washington, and Oregon in just these past t wo months. What dedication! And at the next to nothing payscale of this paper… New entries for this period are listed below. Remember that the year-end winners will come from one of these bi-monthly listings.

BEST FOOD -

No contest here. A double stomach victory to Gary & Janet Moore in Seattle, WA. Lunch at the top of the Space Needle (on Gary), plus fresh salmon, home grilled to perfection with secret herbs and spices. I did notice one spice container with some New Mex ico type markings, but the chief revealed no secrets!

MOST COMFORTABLE BED-

My own room - separate fridge with Diet Coke - no one else around in the morning - what a pleasant experience in Roswell with Jum and Edie Hughes. Plus I got to see their new '55 restored Chevy, or at least all the parts that will be assembled into a crusin' machine!

MOST ENJOYABLE WAKE-UP CALL-

In perhaps the upset of the year to date... The Pope’s Palace in Sherman Texas! And this for NOT sending in the dogs for a multiple tongue bath at 6am! I got to sleep in and awake to the wafting odors of a home cooked country style breakfast that only Ro semary can prepare!

There is still time to call the hotline at 970-884-6175 to get in the game. Big prizes for the winners in these three categories announced in the December issue. In the Senate Spirit,

Ex-president at last, andymac #45166

Due to various time consuming commitments to the boring and mundane duties required by the rigors of a County Commissioners job, VP of Funrai$ing Steve Neville was unable to pull himself up by the bootstraps and submit anything for this report.

Unfortunately, Special Prosecutor Kenneth Starr called NMJCI Senate Presidential Bodyguard George Byrne #40801 to Washington, D.C. just last week. The exact nature of this move by Starr is unknown. ABC correspondent Sam Donaldson has been seen in George’s hometown of Roswell, NM, but most locals have ignored him as another in a long line of bad toupee-wearing aliens. MSNBC news anchor Keith Olberman ( formerly of ESPN) speculates that a previously unreported football injury suffered by Mr. Starr in colle ge -playing without his leather helmet - has caused the recurrence of ADD and general confusion in his witness calling procedures. "We are only trying to be thorough in our gathering of evidence" was the quote given by Mr. Starr when con tacted by the Chili Pepper Press. A special fund has been established to help cover Mr. Byrne’s food budget while in Washington. "The per diem allowed by the federal government barely feeds an army, let alone poor George", his wife Sally comment ed. Please send all contributions to the Byrne’s residence in Roswell. We hope to have a follow up report from George by the next issue.

Q; What’s all this stuff in the news about ‘sexual relations’ and what difference it makes in the running of our country? We’re all sexually related and our house runs just fine.

Jethro, SueAnn, BillyBob, Darryl, and Darryl

Reply; Dear boys and girl,

I hope I never meet your Kids! While it may be OK in your family to be sexually related, when it comes to the President of the USA, his house is run by different rules than yours. Family - and intern - intercourse is supposed to be limited to verbal talki ng only. Which means that it is OK to conduct oral conversations as defined by Webster’s Dictionary,,, "libidinal gratification is derived from intake by sucking and later by biting." Hey, wait a minute here... are you guys from Arkansas too?! M aybe there is a defense somewhere for my buddy Bil... er, I mean, ah, I guess I’ll turn this question over to Mr. Starr.

For personalized responses to your legal questions, please address your letters to Dear Janet, care of this publication.

The following NMJCI members are due this September to the USJCI . If you have already paid, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. If not, please remit to our new treasurer Mr. Schramski.

WALTER BRADLEY, JERRY ELLIS, RICK LITTLE, FRANK LUCHINI, LEROY NITSCH, BARBARA ODOM, GARY POTVIN, JOHN POWERS, TEX SMART, STEVE TIGERT, JACK WHITE.

Remember that we now bill on an annual basis so if you think you just paid last fall or winter, it was most probably for your 1997 dues. 1998 billings went out in April of this year. If this notice crosses the path of your payment, be happy in the knowled ge that people are thinking of you! Thank you for your help.