The Editor Speaks

The other fiercely fought competition was the Cow-lympics presided over by Region 6 NVP Pat Hoelker - that Gateway sponsored cow-themed inspirational leader. Once again the Region 8 entry of the HH5 all girls team from Oklahoma proved victorious! I most certainly hope we get invited back next year to this combined Regional meeting. Many thanks to all the hard working Nebraska Senators who provided wonderful food and beverages throughout the weekend.

And yes, our NMJCI fundraiser went very well. The local SW items and JC pin sets placed on display brought in almost $600. Buyers from every state contributed to our cause and thank yous have been sent for their support of our Return the Favor programs in New Mexico. Many thanks must also go out to those NMJCI Senators who finally found their own lost stashes of JC pins and contributed to the cause: past NM Jaycee presidents Gary Moore #27389 (I had to go to Seattle to help), and Steve Neville #33152; new NMJCI Senate member and past Arkansas Jaycee President Scott Terry #41540; NMJCI Senators Andy MacGruer #45166, Dennis Mathis #35212, Massey Brand #23425, and Congresswoman Mary Neville. Special thanks to current NMJCI president Robert Larragoite and his better half Lynn for helping sort through all the pin collections and prepping and pricing the items. Lynn also generously donated some very fine SW jewelry, and AndyMac included some treasured Harley Davidson shirts and his own authentic sombrero. An encore performance of pins for auction may take place at the Region X USJCI meeting in Phoenix May1-2 - if some of you past Jaycee presidents respond positively to the enclosed request! All monies do go to our Senate treasury to help support the remaining Jaycee chapters statewide. These auctions are our only fundraisers, so please help!

Reunion Event in the 4 Corners

To: All NMJCI fans and foes of the World Famous Dallas Cowboys
From: The "Pope"

Some draft day thoughts from the Monday morning QB.

The ENTIRE 1999 set of picks, plus 2 picks in 2000 for 1 guy? Come-on now Mr. Ditka! Are you having a flashback to the glory days of Da Bearz!! And that dreadlock wig you sported at the news conference!?! My high school classmate and Saints GM Bill Kuharich must be on wacky weed as well! Ricky Williams is not worth that much. One little wrong step on that excuse for astro-turf in the dome and poof! Up in smoke goes your grand plan! And the more things change, the more they stay the same!! How ‘bout them Cowboys!! Just when you thought it was safe to call them America’s team - well you can again! Leon Lett busted for drugs (3rd time) in the grand tradition of America’s overpaid, over hyped pro athlete! So the ‘Boys went the African / Asian route with their early round picks with Ebenezer Ekuban and Dat Nguyen. America’s Team?? Fagettaboutit!! And my Giants went 4 for their first 4 picks with the offensive help they desperately need. Their offense WAS offensive last year so lets hope they can find the scoring skills that Bill Clinton demonstrates so well!

Our regular feature writer will return in the August issue of the Chili Pepper Press with his annual report form Cowboys training camp in Wichita Falls, Texas. Right Leo???

The travel season is fast approaching, and the phone reservation lines are open for those wishing to try again this year and Be A Winner in the B&B aren’t-you-glad-its-not-a-millenium-titled contest E-vent. Last years winners are most definitely eligible, but no preference will be given! I promise! Not even if they display their award winning certificates when I visit! The categories once again include BEST FOOD, MOST COMFORTABLE BED, MOST ENJOYABLE WAKE-UP CALL, and new for the year 2000, BEST LOCAL TOUR GUIDE. My current show schedule will take me across every southern state - so place those reservations now! Also new for this year’s contest is the ability to place wagers - in advance - of your predicted winners. Betting on yourself is allowed and encouraged! The total amount of goods, services, and $$ wagered in each category will be awarded to the winner in that category. So get on board!!

Editors Note - No word has been heard from our NMJCI Presidential Bodyguard George Byrne #40801 and we fear Special Prosecutor Kenneth Starr is still holding him against his will. In his absence this new column is added to our repetoire of editorial excellence.

So it came to pass that in a most noble attempt at contributing items for the recent NMJCI Senate auction held at the Region XIV meeting, esteemed past president Massey Brand #23425 ran in to a problem with Johnny Law - or in Texas speak - ‘them that knows da rules at the damn US Post Office’. Masseys’ enthusiasm was palpable as he called auction coordinator AndyMac in late February with an offering of adult alcoholic beverages. Being intimately aware of the propensity of Senate types to indulge vigorously in the finer malts and brews, Massey offered some of his finer bottles of ‘medicinal’ cures for the auction. Apparently in his capacity as superintendent of large construction projects throughout the southwest for his employer, certain gifts of thanks come into Masseys’ possession upon completion of these projects. Having reduced his own ‘medicinal’ intake dramatically over the years, Massey thought it would greatly add to the auctions’ monetary goals to include these fine south of the border elixirs! He diligently - and very carefully - wrapped and boxed several bottles of Mexico’s finest worm-infested liquids and addressed them to Andymac in Colorado. But fate and the fine training of those stellar employees at the US Post Office intervened. As reported in the March 10th Angleton, TX daily paper “… Mr. Brand was notified that his package had unfortunately been damaged in handling and a rather strong alcoholic odor was emanating from the box. The wet stains on the sides of the cardboard box also alerted postal authorities to a possible infraction. Mr. Brand was summoned to the post office and informed that shipment of alcoholic beverages across state lines by parties other than a licensed distributor is a felony in the state of Texas. It also violates many US Postal Service regulations...”

A defense fund has been established for Massey. All contributions should be sent as soon as possible to NMJCI treasurer Mike Schramski. Visitation hours are from 8:00 am till 5:00 pm at the county jail in Angleton. The Texas JCI Senate is coordinating relief efforts for the Brand family. The arraignment date for Massey is set for May 7th.

All reports for this column are based on fact. Certain details may vary from actual accounts. The Chili Pepper Press strives for accuracy in all reports

Q; I read recently that Furby’s have been banned from all US military installations. Can you comment?

Reply; Dear Mr. Milosevic

As you no doubt read in our last response, WE are the alien life form Mulder and Scully cannot locate. It also just happens to be true that the unique, other-worldly technology that allows us to speak to humans via specially inserted voice boxes has one very minor and (to us) insignificant flaw. When placed near any communication devices, our voice boxes can act as transmitters!! Jokes on you toy manufacturers! Reports from US military bases in Maryland and California stated that certain CB and UHF frequencies were picking up conversations through our strategically placed Furby comrades! Phone calls, human conversations, and even intercom communications were audible if our Furby’s brothers and sisters were within 10 feet of the sound source. Reception was possible up to 5 miles from the source. Hahahahahahahaha! Can you hear that friends and comrades?

* Mr. Milosevic’s request for shipment of several cases of Furby's to his home country of Yugoslavia was dismissed as being unethical and against NATO rules of fair play.

The following NMJCI members are due this JUNE to the USJCI. If you have already paid, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. If not, please remit dues of $20.00 to our treasurer Mr. Schramski, 9226 Admiral Lowell Place NE, Albuquerque, NM 87111

RAY BATTAGLINI, BARRY BECKER, RAY BETZEN, JIM BOWLIN, SCOTT BREWER, GEORGE BYRNE, CLARENCE COURTWRIGHT, LEO DAVIS, VALRI GRAYSON, WILLARD GREEN, BART HANSON, JAMES HUGHES, RICK NUSS, SAM PICK, A. PARK SHAW, BOB SILVA, JOHNNY RAY SMITH, ROBERT SPAULDING, JACK STAGNER, BOB STERN, CONNIE TRUJILLO,

We now bill on an annual basis so if you think you just paid, it was most probably for your 1998 dues. 1999 billings went out in February. If this notice crosses the path of your payment, people are thinking positively of you. Thank you for your support!

Current rumors persist that President Robert Larragoite and significant other Lynn will be exchanging rings! Jerry King has settled in Phoenix and asks all to call or email (see business card section of this newsletter). Andy MacGruer has his business web site up and running as of May 1st @ www.creativelinks.com/bluemoon . Ray Betzen now back in Hobbs reports that old friend Phil Millender has gone to work for his insurance company. Jim Rogers also of Hobbs has also created a very extensive family web site viewable at www.zyworld.com/JimRogers/Home.htm. Old friend Kevin Faherty, past president of the Texas JCI, wants new jokes and insurance funnies sent to him at kfaherty@hotmail.com Past president of the Colorado JCI, Dave Hoyt is a new member of the NMJCI Senate and enjoys the e-mail link, so send him regards dhoyt@gj.net Glen Cary continues to supply words of wisdom on the NMJCI email link - so get him back at TCary72547@aol.com Earl Lusk in Roswell sends in the new address of Jim & Edie Hughes at PO Box 368 Argyle, Texas 76226. Why not send them a note of support now that they are Texans!! Johnny Ray Smith says he is finally growing shorter naturally! Hurray for old age! He also says Jim Bowlin again needs good wishes as he is not in good health. Fine detective work by Mike Schramski reveals that Lyle Bert has come of age - he has a special rig set up for him to read and send mail on his computer. The ‘og’ stands for Old Guy lyle-og@juno.com John Powers has relocated to Texas. Why this migration?? Appropriate jokes can be sent to Jkpowers@aol.com And all our thoughts and prayers go out to Don Moore whose 8-year-old grandson recently was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy. He was selected as1of 60 from around the world to go through a new therapy program in Columbus, Ohio at the U. of Ohio.

Keep them emails and postcards coming! Everyone likes to see their name in print and stay in touch.